Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Waze

Unfortunately the electrical gremlins have found their way into the wiring of the old  boat. So we have returned to dry dock for an undisclosed amount of time.In the meantime I was able to have the good fortune of a family road trip with my two favorite people on the planet.

While I normally shy away from most things considered to be new technology. The household President however is very keen to pick up on new conveniences.

During our trek from the big city to a little coastal town nestled on the banks of the Pacific Ocean, I was introduced to an application called Waze. While I'm sure there are quite a few navigation applications available for many the device, I found this one to be particularly interesting.

While enjoying my navigator position I was able to spend some good time interacting with this application( yes I'm going to use the whole word the whole time).

Ill go ahead and say up front, after fumbling along for several minutes while trying to get the clubs I call fingers to input our destination correctly, it was quite easy to use. Once that side show of gorilla like behavior was over come it was time to get down to the business on making pavement disappear in our attempt to reach our destination.

Fist thing to pop up where optional routes, least traffic, fastest route etc. etc. We decided to veer from the lazy snake know as the five.

After a few miles I began to notice all these icons on the map, after asking what was probably an obvious question, it was clear that we were not alone. The little smiling faces looking up at me where actually other "Wazers" as they are called. Not only where we not the only application users traveling that day, they where also looking out for us.

The first icon that came up was of a siren, after clicking on it I was notified of the long arm of the law attempting to damper our fun times.

As we neared the location a window opened allowing me to note whether or not Johnny Law was still hiding out. Fortunately he was not as I believe anything greater than eleven miles per hour over the posted speed limit is a felony in our fine state, scare tactics.

Alas after clicking the "not there" buttom and resuming our quest, we where rewarded with a reappearance of the icon. Only to find an apparent non-Wazer enjoying the company of the tall gentleman in the flat rimmed hat. "Click.....5.0!!"

The entertainment continued with road construction icons, pothole warnings and many more of the big five zeros. Noting these for other interactive Wazers gains you points, the more points the more icons the more options.

The only thing I found it lacking was the ability to track my route, thinking this would come in handy for establishing times on certain roads, however I may be the reason they don't have that option, yet.

I will say that Wazer ninja status is going to happen.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Flags

The sound of a pair of glasspacks at full song in second gear tore threw the trees on what was supposed to be a quiet Sunday afternoon.

The decks of the old warship held water, the sails up, time to hoist the flag.

High noon as I backed down the driveway, sun glistening off the acres of chrome. Sliding into first and heading to the stop sign, I kept it quiet, ears listening for any anomaly.

Run it up a few thousand rpm, grab the shifter and ease it back into second, up a few more and let go. Coasting down to the next stop sign.

A pause to make sure all is clear, whap, whap, jumping the rpm up, grab the shifter and slam it into first. Foots trembling on the clutch with anticipation.Whap, then slam my foot to the floor while releasing the pedal.

"Release the Kraken!!" The voice screams out from the back of my head as I'm forced back into the seat, scrambling to keep my grip on the wheel. Tires chirping like a flock of seagulls as I hold my foot to the floor.

Straining against the force, I stab the clutch and slam it into second. Barely a heartbeat my foot is out of the carpet.

The wheel is heavy in my hand as I pull against it to keep myself at the helm. Things have begun to rattle just as I let out the gas and coast to the stoplight. The exhaust crackling back and forth as fire pings it's way down the tubes.

Heads are already turned in my direction when I come into view. Some the sheer look of envy as I sail past. Others with a look of complete and udder disdain for my obvious disregard for public tranquility and posted regulations.

For them, I slow slightly at the light, making eye contact as I set the shifter back into first. Just as you can almost see them releasing the breath they were holding. The dogs of hell bark fire from beneath the bumper as I bury my foot back into the carpet.

The flag is at full mast...